cantamos alegría

It is the season to, as my friend Peter sings, “Sing Joy,”

This season, I “Sing Joy” for all that Grandma and Pa gave us,

The stories, the food, the island 90 miles north of cuba, and so much else

So let’s live out the season with all the joy they did and…

“Sing Joy” for each other

“Sing Joy” for that strange island full of people who loved them and love us

“Sing Joy” for Christmas eve dinner, café con leche, and key lime pie

“Sing Joy” for all the animals in the manger, Christmas decorations, and the elves in the yard

“Sing Joy” for Christmas cookies, fresh Christmas trees, and candles on snowy nights

“Sing Joy” for postal workers and retail workers, especially at Sears, who will work harder than ever this season

“Sing Joy” for the technology that keeps us together and for the time we spend together

“Sing Joy” for the bits and pieces of Grandma and Pa we see in each other and in Ryan

“Sing Joy” for the child born in Bethlehem who’s face they have seen

And…

“SING JOY” for our guardian angels and all the love the continue to give us!

“Sing Joy” by Peter Mayer, Little Flock Music

Filling in the blanks

Found some more details on Grandma's family...

1)Alicia Bancells

2) Maria Pons and Blas Rameriez

3) Maria’s parents are Miguel Pons and Francisca Acosta

3a)Siblings: Amparo “Alice” (was a nurse in military), Juan, Vehillo,

Juan Horacio married Esperansa Perez (died early in marriage) then married Margarita Pons, they had 8 children: Dora, Aledia, Norberto, Francsia, Alicia, Celido, and Charlie (all Spencer or Pons)

3b) Francisca’s siblings are Domingo, Candonga, Teresa, Maria Ignacia, and an unknown sibling

4) Francisca’s parents are Juan Acosta and Ignacia Cordova

4a) Juan Acosta and Maria Ferrer also had children

4b) Domingo is child of Maria Ferrer and Juan Acosta, born before 1879 in Cuba. He was a teacher and Superintendent of Escuala Normal in Havana

4c) Teresa born before 1879. Died in 1901, Married Leopoldo Hernandez. Child: Elba Cardenas y Pons died 1913 in Havana by suicide off the Malecon. Children Estella and Leopoldo (born in 1896 in Cuba, died in 1972 in KW)and Juan. Leopoldo worked on ships and as night manager or Duval Sundries. Juan Maria Cardenas Pons born in 1896, died 1986 owned a pharmacy on Duval St

4d )Maria Ignacia Acosta

Born May 18, 1879 in Cuba

Married Manuel Maresma y Gispert 1899 in Havana.

Manuel Maresma was born in Havana and died before 1932. He was a judge, lawyer and teacher

Spent time in Mexico, Cuba then 1953 worked for Pan American Air

1923: worked in cigar factory in Tampa as child care for workers

4e) Miguel Pons Sr and Maria Candelaria Ferrer

            Miguel was born in Marseis France and of the Guimera Family

            Maria also married Juan Acosta and is from Cuba

"Looka"

One of my favorite Pa-words is "looka." (Look + ah). It usually means "look at this" or "look at me" and it drives grandma nuts. I can remember her telling him, "its look, not looka." I'm not sure how its spelled but I am sure he uses it at times just to make her nuts and make me giggle. It's a little like how he said Home Depot. Most of us pronouce it  home d-poh but he always said deh-poh (okay its hard to explain it in words but I hope that makes sense). I'm fairly certain he is capapble of saying it correctly but it wasnt his habit and ya know, it makes grandma nuts.


Any other good Pa words out there?

Side trip to grandma's family

So grandma asked me to find out more about her mom, Maria Pons.

Maria married Blas Ramirez and they had 12 kids (Rolgelio, Elena, Delia, Jose, Hector, Berta, Miguel,
Frank, Umberto, Alicia (GRANDMA!), Armando, and Antonio.

Maria had 3 siblings: Amparo "Alice," Juan, and Vehillo. Their parents were Miguel Pons and Francsia Acosta.

Miguel had one sister, Teesar.

Francsia had 4 siblings: Domingo, Candonga, Teresa, Maria.

Miguel Pons' parents were Miguel Pons and Maria Ferrer. Miguel Sr was born in France of the Guimera family.

Francsia Acosta's parents were Juan Acosta and Ignacia Cordova. Juan Acosta was also married to Maria Ferrer (before Miguel Pons Sr was (as far as I can tell)). Juan is of the Delgado family, Ignacia is of the Toledo family.
_____________________________

Grandma's Dad's side:

Her dad was Blas Ramirez. He had 5 siblings: Jose, Eloisa (grandma loved her), Dolores, Abel, and Enriqueta (grandma didnt like her, queta. had a daughter conchita (?) who had a daughter, andrea who went to kindergarden with my dad, she was a dancer, cousins).

Blas's parents where Jose (a shoemaker/repair who lived on Bahama St in Key West) and Gregonia.

Blas' family is from the Canary Islands and his mother's name was Consergera of Cuba

Two short stories I love

Baseball is way more fun than violin lessons. As a child, he was supposed to go to violin lessons but would skip them, stick his violin in a tree, and play baseball. He got in trouble when the violin teacher would call his father.

If you shoot a spitball at the fan in study hall at the right angle, you will land it in the curls of the girl in front of you. You will have detention........from the nuns.

"Barefootin'"

Grandpa doesn't care much for wearing shoes these days. I couldnt quite understand where this insistence came from the first time it popped up. It comes and goes like may things with dementia come and go. So, Mom or I turned to Grandma. She explained that when they were children, shoes were expensive and fancy things meant to be well cared for. In those days, you didnt wear shoes unless you were going to school or church and if it wasnt one of those places, you went barefoot. There is little need for shoes when most of your hometown is sand and your backyard the ocean.

Mail Trucks and Baseballs

In March, we went to visit mom and dad in spring training. During one of the games we noticed that the bus driver for the opposing team had opening the emergency hatch of the bus and was sitting on the roof watching the game. It was just about when we noticed that Dad texted me from the dugout and told us to look out there. He then shared that Pa would do the same during his games as a kid and high schooler, sitting on the top of the mail truck during the games so he could see a few innings before going back to delivering mail.

The new key west post office:

Hemingway's House

Ernest Hemingway is one of my favorite authors. Maybe its because The Old Man and The Sea reminds me of Pa or maybe its because Pa tells so many stories about Hemingway. When Pa was a child, Hemingway lived in Key West and had the only pool on the island. So when we went to Key WEst last fall, I felt the need to see Hemingway's home and the pool.

Grandpa and his buddies would scale the fence at the back of the property to swim in the pool. At that time, the butler lived in the small house (now a gift shop) on the property and would lean out the window to yell at the boys before chasing them from the property.

The grocery store, deliveries, and the mail

Monday questions and friday questions, always the same even before the dementia. "Did you get the groceries?," "Is the laundry done?," "Is the trash out?," and of course my favorite, "Do you have enough gas money?" These days the questions always come on the right days and the answers are always yes, yes, yes, and yes. Even then he often insists I take gas money, which I do from a nonexistent account we created in order to convince him he doesn't need actual cash. It amazes me that through the haze of dementia these questions are asked on the right days and in the same order. Oh, cant forget "did you go to the bank?"cause on fridays he would pick up his check and we'd go to the bank to deposit it, get his allowance and hit the grocery store.

The other things that keep coming back are the mail and his pharmacy deliveries. Grandpa delivered mail in key west for 33 years to the likes of Hemingway and Truman. So from time to time he gets concerned about who took over his route and if the mail was delivered. Beyond the mail route Pa also would deliver pharmacy orders to the older folks on the island on friday. He often asks, on friday, "Who is doing the deliveries?" or "have the deliveries been done?" This is where my cousins, dad's friends, and anyone else I can name from Key West comes in handy. "Oh, Timmy is doing it now" or "Dont worry, Jimmy said he'd do it."

He can still tell me the whole route he delivered to and of course, the firemen he played dominoes with at the fire station at the end of his route.

Dominoes

Dominoes are black and white, not rainbow colored. I learned to count by playing Dominoes. Monday, Pa and I played Dominoes and every time I say or write that word I hear it as three distinct sounds just the way Pa pronounces it (Dah-me-noes). In spite of the fog of dementia that was present since it was dinner time, Pa is still the best Dominoes player I know. We split the games 3wins for him, 2 for me.

On of my favorite stories about Pa's life in Key West revolves around Dominoes. Pa was a mailman in Cayo Hueso for 33 years, serving much of the island from the old post office. At the end of every day and every route, he ended near the old fire station near St. Mary's Church. It was here he would stop and play Dominoes and have coffee with the firemen. At some point in this story, Grandma always says this is why she never worried if he was late getting home (and bringing their mail home), he was busy playing Dominoes of course. The games were intense and very serious business.

Friends

Sundowning is a sometimes ferocious beast that can have moments of quiet in the midst of the confusion and fear. Its those moments I'm thankful for Snow, Machi, and Cookie. These men were Pa's best friends and the foursome had some adventures in their day. Unsurprisingly, it is these men that I consider his angels. For in the confusion and anxiety that is sundowning, Pa will often tell me that one or more is with him. I will sometimes arrive at Bluepoint to visit and he will be talking to, in my mind, no one. Yet, when I ask him he's talking fishing with Machi or Snow or Cookie. If its not fishing, they are reliving some other adventure and the details are vague when he tells me.

So to the unseen angels, thank you. And to those who dont believe me, you can argue with those four in heaven someday

Following the stories

Okay so it's time for me to jump into the blog world and start getting all the stories down. Somehow the title of this blog, Reliving the Cayo Hueso I Never Knew, seemed to fit my mission. I've long wanted to get the stories Pa and Grandma share down before it's too late and many of those stories are of a place I hold dear in a time I never knew.

Today was more talk of "runnning numbers" or Bollito as my cousin called it. Pa has developed an obsession almost with who owes who money and how much. For the longest time, I couldnt put it together. It seems that Pa and his friends used to run numbers from the Cuban lottery in the paper and make bets on them. So, today, he owed someone $4.

We moved from there to if the groceries, laundry, and bills were paid. His standard friday questions came a day early this week. And, yes, I have plenty of gas money.

I have to admit for as tough as dementia is on me and my family, Pa seems to be in a good reality for him. He works in his dad's shop some days and others is off to play dominoes at the fire station before going home to grandma. Yet, I'm still his Andrea-Maria today and that is all that really matters.